Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), then utilize the flash films/games because the icing on the teenage-annoyance cake. When the editor pushed Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online for me, I found myself suspicious.
At first, I thought to ask: “How are you aware I utilized to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not just, basically if i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to monitor down younger me but, generally if i was right, he would know I found myself on the bastard. Then this editor would foil my entire life plans by occasionally whispering in my ear: “hey, keep this in mind gem of the Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem I have got left.
Similar to most narratives, I found myself asked who’s tale it had been. So, one splash of water on the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this became a web-based multiplayer title, I thought I’d hide how I’d be examining this game using a critical eye within my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, similar to most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io commences with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the foot of a pile, in a bad world attempting to shoot you in the back of the pinnacle. Or perhaps a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes along with other tanks. Therefore I did the most obvious thing: I blew with the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging each of the circle with names on them. Yes, the aesthetic could be recreated with MS Paint and the only thing which is missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the choice of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. A thing that became immediately obvious was that when I planned to reside beyond a young child within a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i would be required to pick regen eventually. Without it, I would personally be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled beyond the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked should i wanted a unit-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so that you can shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly such as a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the type of simpleton to play as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out of anxiety about confusion otherwise, I went with all the assault rifle option on my own tank.
Ultimately, like other things, my time with Diep.io came to a stop when I began picking fights with other players. In spite of the highest damage output I could possibly muster, the most speed, a sizable regen pool, plus more health than I knew how to deal with, other players were quickly in a position to put me inside my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.